Lifes a Beach

I am Falconburger, Lord of the realm.

This I remember.... now. I have been away, lost at sea on an island. Attacked and chased by monkeys and coconuts. Beaten by evil men in silly hats and left to die. Enslaved by a shiny silver box. Seems that the blow to the head reconnected the bridge to my past that a coconut broke asunder after I was foolish enough to be a test pilot for a mad bastard.

So I am lord of the realm and yet i find myself sitting on a rock on a beach, once again in an unknown place. A fisherman found me adrift at sea, and when he found he couldn't use me as bait he dragged my soggy self back to land.

I asked him where he road to Castle Falconburger was, the shining beacon of modern thinking and wonderous capital of the realm to which he replied in his bizarre language "Wotareyouonabootyamudbustard?, thetoownisdoownthatroodoverthehill".

Obviosly a man whose intellect is barely above that of savage monkeys in far away lands. He did sound vaguly familiar though, so maybe i'm on my way home at least. So I'm going to head down this poor excuse for a road and see if i can find anyone who knows the way.

My biggest problem is of course that i have no money, no belongings and i look like something the cat dragged in, ate, and then threw up, licked... and then pushed under a couch with its nose to go mouldy. I look like a common begger.