Jeem Bo continued to make his way through the dark forest in the pelting rain. The dim light grew closer and when the lightening flashed again overhead he could make out what looked like a boat, laying on its side precariously being held up by what was left of the central mast.
Strewn about the place was all manner of nautical paraphernalia as well as naughty-cal leather and bondage gear. It looked like a comet from planet Whipmebitch had collided with the boat at the exact moment it was where boats should not be... in the forest.
The light was coming from a few burning pieces of wood laying about under the shelter of the upturned boat... and Jeem Bo noticed that a lot of the scattered remnants had a somewhat burned look about them. The clearing reeked of ozone, leather and burnt lard.
Jeem Bo noticed movement under the boat so he cautiously approached to find a curious little man in something of a predicament.
The short little fellow, clad only in tight black leather shorts was pinned to the ground by hit helmet which sported rather large comical horns. One might call it a horny helmet. It seemed that the midget for want of a better word had fallen horns first and they'd stuck into the ground... and the force of the landing had rammed his head too tightly into the helmet to get it back out again.
Jeemo Bo approached the midget..."Yo Mun... um... you ok unda der?"
"Erm...um... om stuck" said the upsidedown one.
"No sheet mun, ow did you end up 'ere... in a boat?... ders no sea for miles mun"
"Er..um...well... last night... um... there was a ...party... and um... well... I fell asleep at the wheel I think... I seem to have rolled it. The boat that is.. and I think that somehow I got struck by lightening as well. It hasn't been my day really."
"Rolled it?... you're MILES from the sea mun!"
"Aye, it was a good party!... um would you mind helping me out of here?" Said the leatherclad one.
"Um..ok mun.. I'll give eet a go..." said the unclad one.
Jeem Bo grabbed the midgets feet and tried pulling him free of the helmet... the lightning flashed over head and when an owl saw the bright silhouette of naked Jeem Bo tugging on the leatherclad midget...it was forced to peck its own eyes out..
"Doesn't seem to be workin mun, yer noggin be stuck in that hole good" Said Jeem Bo
"Um...well... there's a bucket of lard over there... maybe you better rub some on me so I can slip out?... then I'll buy you a drink at the pub i saw briefly as i came crashing through the treetops... its just over there..."
The midget waved his hand in the general direction of the alleged pub...
"Pub...?" Said Jeem Bo... eyes lighting up...
Somewhere in the not to distant forest a moose...er... moose-noised.
**********************
Will Jeem Bo lube up the stricken midget in order to free him from his Horny Helmet?
Or will Jeem Bo abandon the leatherclad shortarse and head to the pub...?
Friday, April 13, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Lightening crashes
Jeem Bo got up as it slowly began to rain. There was a chain attached to the anchor, well..half a chain. At least, he hoped... it pointed in the direction from which it had come...
He climbed in the direction that the chain pointed and by the time he'd gone 10 feet the rain had increased to a steady downpour. Thunder rumbled overhead and the occasional flash of lightning lit up what parts of the forest it could penetrate through the tree tops.
After a few minutes Jeem Bo couldn't help but notice a lot of broken branches on the ground. They roughly followed he direction the anchor chain had pointed. It looked like something had gone across the tops of the trees and smashed the tops of them to bits.
A few more steps and he found a small broken cage on the ground... and a pair of black leather shorts. Unfortunately they were more the size a gerbil would wear so he didn't consider trying them on.
A few more steps and he found an overturned bucket... several soapy frogs were slithering about in the rain... and a pair of shiny handcuffs hanging from a tree.
A heavy rag fell from a tree and landed on his head... as it turned out it wasn't a rag but a flag.
Jeem Bo had never seen a flag quite like it... made from leather with metal studs all over it spelling out a word he couldn't quite see in the gloom...
Suddenly the lightning flared directly overhead... and he could read the leather flag.
'DODGERELLA'
He climbed in the direction that the chain pointed and by the time he'd gone 10 feet the rain had increased to a steady downpour. Thunder rumbled overhead and the occasional flash of lightning lit up what parts of the forest it could penetrate through the tree tops.
After a few minutes Jeem Bo couldn't help but notice a lot of broken branches on the ground. They roughly followed he direction the anchor chain had pointed. It looked like something had gone across the tops of the trees and smashed the tops of them to bits.
A few more steps and he found a small broken cage on the ground... and a pair of black leather shorts. Unfortunately they were more the size a gerbil would wear so he didn't consider trying them on.
A few more steps and he found an overturned bucket... several soapy frogs were slithering about in the rain... and a pair of shiny handcuffs hanging from a tree.
A heavy rag fell from a tree and landed on his head... as it turned out it wasn't a rag but a flag.
Jeem Bo had never seen a flag quite like it... made from leather with metal studs all over it spelling out a word he couldn't quite see in the gloom...
Suddenly the lightning flared directly overhead... and he could read the leather flag.
'DODGERELLA'
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