F word.

So I’ve been in thish shpub for hoursh now. Shlate tashts like arsh but good arsh. Oops that shounds a bit orf dunnit?. Farkin minotaur and is farkin drinking competitions. Farker. And thish orther farker elfish, alvis, whatdafark finks ‘e can shing. I tell’im ders more den sayin ‘ah huh farkin huh’ to make yerself a singer. Fancy farkin blue shooz or not. And dis... dis farken dorg... farkin buttman the barkin bullshit ..opps..snigger... dawg.. i wish the farker would git orf me farkin leg. E's gawn and drooled all over me duds the farker... at least i farkin 'ope its only drool. farker.

Oi I reckon thish farken black chick with the tale farken fancies me… I mean how could ge not cos 'om so farken alluring and all...I fink I’ll go farken pinch her arsh cos chicks dig that yeah!