A load of bull.

Ok… So it’s not actually a cow as such. I didn’t actually know these things really existed. I thought they were myths like tooth fairies, honest lawyers and true love. It’s a Minotaur. He straightens up once he’s through the door to tower at about 7ft in height, his horns only just avoiding the ceiling rafters. He wears a leather kilt and has a big cigar hanging out of his mouth… smoke curls from his large bovine nostrils.

The bulldog ‘Batman' rushes over …well... as much as a bulldog can rush and huffs and puffs around the Minotaurs hooves wagging its stumpy tail with excitement as torrents of drool plops and slops from its very lippy maw.

“Behold, Aaahnult the Amaysink. Vorsheep deis vonderful beevvfcake boody unt bask in mine glory ya” The Minotaur proclaimed in a voice that sounded like it really should belong to someone wearing a spandex leotard on a rainbow coloured parade float surrounded by a number of other similarly attired and buffed, waxed and oiled up fellows all named Percy.

Mad cow disease?

But are you gonna tell a seven foot tall half man half bull that?

I don’t think so.

Aaahnult proceeded to strike a beefy muscle flexing pose in the doorway while some other people edged their way around him. From behind Aaahnult come two more freakshows… a lithe girl with jet black skin, pointy ears and a long tail poking out of her leather pants She smiles at the barkeep, presenting a pair of catlike fangs and slaps a few coins on the grassy knoll we’re using as a bar. Following her is a near opposite, a slightly chubby fellow, also with pointed ears and tsunami of black hair oiled and slicked up in such a way that his forehead was a good 2 inches higher than the back of his head. He wears a tight white leather suit speckled with cheap gems and bits of glass. He carries a guitar of some description.

I’m starting to think I’m a lot further from home that I thought.