Woof.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon let go getsombeeeer" muttered Muck Swell as he crawled out of the Pub..
"Ve must be on zee lookout for zee think that smells like arss tho too... eef eet ees talking us I don't want an arse sneaking up on me in ze dark!" Said Aaahnult
"I'm sure it wouldn't be the first time" Said Conning
"You're the one behind him retard" said Cola as we all filed out of the pub.
Muck Swell informed us the green bitch who lived in a boot was somehwere in the Uberswamp to the east so off we slogged in the knee deep goop.
Some time later we arrived at what could be best describes a knob of land... poking up out of the swamp. It was the first dry-ish place we'd encountered all day and as it was starting to get dark it seemed the logical place to camp.
Muckswell produces some kindling from his loincloth.. or at least i assume it was kindling... it DID burn with a funny smell but that was a swamp and EVERYTHING smelled really. We settled down for the night.
"Woof" said Batman
"Whats that hound dog?... do you smell something" asked Elfis, who was on watch with Jeem-Bo.
"Woof" said Batman
"Say what?... where is it?" Asked elfis
"Woof" said Batman
"I can't see it?.. are you sure?" said Elfis peering into the murky darkness
"Woof! Woofdammit!" huffed Batman
"What ees it mun?" Asked Jeem-Bo...
"Mah man the hound dog says there's something over there lurkin" said Elfis
"Woof." Said Batman...

****vote****
Who investigates?
Jeem-Bo?
Elfis?

Smells like arse

"OK...now this is how I see it" I said as I tried to fix my immaculate hair using a serving tray as a mirror.
"We came into this forest to hunt the Beast of Bourbon. We got sidetracked, lost Abe to a ...a.... thingymonster...then dreadlocks..err...Jeem-Bo over here got sidetracked running through the forest with some sort of gender confused moose and a third party who was unidentified right?" I said.
"Yeah mun... I remember seeing the dreaded Gaymoose of Watamakan coming right for me and then nothing mun... I wakes up all bloodied and nekkid....er... " Replied our resident priest type monk fellow.
"What?...eet didn't try to attack you from behind?...dat sounds like eets usual m.o."
"You wanna see how far the musical twats guitar fits up YOUR arse mun?" growled Jeem-Bo
"OK... Beast of Bourbon, Gaymoose. Mysterious third party. Check." I mused
"An zen der were das dvopbears in zee forest ant our dwarf gimp man here" piped Aaanhult
"Well we never ACTUALLY saw a dropbear now did we you bovine knucklehead... YOU WERE TOO BUSY DROPPING ME OUT OF FARKING TREES!" said Cola
"Eet vaas ein accident!...Minotaurz...ve don't usually climb trees" Complained Aahnult
"Batman managed ok...ah-huh-huh"
"Woof"
"Aah aint no gimp..aaam a dwarf!...who just happened to FIND a crate of leathergoods...er" muttered the gimp.
"ANYWAY...." I said " There's the Beast of Bourbon, The Gaymoose, The mysterious third party, alleged dropbears, our dwarf gi..er.. Conning the Viking...who apparently 'rolled his boat' and crash into this forest..."
"Oooh oooh ooh... and the thing that smells like arse!" said Elfis
We all looked at him.
"Aww...c'mon man... you've all noticed it... that kid went missing back at the village.. people talkin about weird sounds like wind blowing over a bottle... and that SMELL that we keeps on gettin a whiff of... we're being stalked by a fell beast that smells like arse. ah-huh-huh... anybody got a burger?..I haven't eaten in five minutes...."
"Anna..anna...*burp*... the Lepper..leppercorn... lepp...short angry green bitch that stole the beer" gurgled Mr Swell from his slumped position under a table.
"OK...finally... Beast of Burbon, Gaymoose, Mysterious Third Party, Dropbears, a Thing that smells like Arse and an angry green beer stealing bitch -"
"Who lives in a boot" said Mr Swell
"Vot?"
"A boot..she...she.. lives in a boot. *burp*" replied Mucks
"A boot. A farking boot. You MUST be joking" Said Cola.
"OK.. so my point is... we're surrounded by enemies... even Conning the gimpdwarf wants to kill me... but I'm not to worried about him being short with me..." I waited... nothing. Imbeciles.
"Where should we concentrate our efforts?...just getting out of here alive willbe a miracle" I said to the bunch of miscreants.

*********VOTES/COMMENTS***********************
Beast of Burbon hunting
Gaymoose hunting
Mysterious Third Party
Dropbears hunting
Thing that smells like Arse
Angry green beer stealing bitch who lives in a boot