My name is...

"My name is...".... I realised that the spot in my head where my name should be lighting up in big *neon letters was unfortunately dark and lacking in name type information.

I glanced around for clues...

One of the hairball stealing hairy little men had sauntered out of the trees again... hands clasped behind its back.... I swear it looked like it was trying to whistle and look inconspicuous as it edged toward another of the fallen hairballs from the trees. Skook the Peon dropped down on his knees as it approached and tried to communicate with the native...

"Maaate...awww... c'mon Maaaaaate" He babbled....

I wondered what bizarre language he was speaking for a second and then the hairy man grabbed a nearby dead cat and jumped upon Skooks head. There was a flurry of screeching from the hairyman and Skook... and a few "Maaaate...whatcha doin? maaate....awwww maaaaaaate thats not nice maaaaaate!" and when the dust cleared the hairy man was gone... and Skook was wearing a new hat. It had a tail and a distinct cat like look about it.

Skook tried in vain to remove the hat...or rather cat... cat hat perhaps... but the aperture wrapped around his forehead was far too tight. The tail hung out over his ear... the cats dead eyes stared up at the sky. Like some demented **Davy Crockett Hat… In retrospect it was a lucky cat... lucky that it was already dead. Now ask yourself just what the aperture was.

Conning sniggered… just as a hairy ball fell from above him and impaled itself on his horny helmet… unbalancing him… and making him stumble to one side.

So there they were… Skook with his cat hat and Conning with his lopsided horny helmet. The ministry of silly hats.

“My name is…”… I pondered…

Then I heard noises rustling in the undergrowth…





* Neon : what the hell is neon?... is that word a memory?... never mind.
** Davy Crocket : not sure who this person is… a have vague memories of him having a similar hat…